Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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