I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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