I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
