She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
