I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize