He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
