I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
