i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize