The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
