i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
