i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
