I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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