I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
