i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
