She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
