He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize