so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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