I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
