Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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