You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I touched a dick in church today
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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