Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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