The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
