just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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