The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
