i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
