We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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