Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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