but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
