She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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