This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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