Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize