i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
