Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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