I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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