Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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