On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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