at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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