Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize