She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
