Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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