drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
