Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
