Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
