How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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