I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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