Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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