the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
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I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
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Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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