My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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