never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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