their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
