i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just found a bag of teeth...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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