I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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