lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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