i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
