So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
