i think my mom watched the whole time
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize