just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize