it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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