Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
