Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
