if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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