Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
